How to Attract Better Men on Criglist
Lately, I’ve been doing a bit of dating coaching with Ronnie Ann Ryan. One of the things women tell us (men say it, too, actually) is that it’s very easy to become discouraged about finding “the one,” especially when they’ve been burned, or when they’re just not meeting anybody worthwhile.
And we always tell these people, “Don’t let it get to you. Take care of yourself. Concentrate on making yourself happy, and things will work themselves out.”
Well, yesterday I went for a mammogram, and I heard yet another story that proves this theory. For some reason, the very friendly technician decided to tell me — not that I minded — about her close friend who’d been stuck in a 7-year live-in relationship with a guy who didn’t want to commit.
Which would have been okay if the friend didn’t want to commit, but she did. She didn’t break up with the guy, but she did sign up for a series of group tours to Europe without him. This allowed her to see things she ordinarily wouldn’t have and to make new Craigslist friends. And, according to the tech, she ”never had a bad time.”
It was during one of these trips that the friend worked up the nerve to break off her dead-end relationship. After seven years of spending Christmas with the longtime boyfriend’s family, it had to be pretty scary. But she knew what she wanted, and he was clearly not it.
Two weeks after saying sayonara, she attended her 25th-year high school reunion and met a Craigslist friends man she’d only known in passing. They clicked. He asked her to meet him for coffee. They fell in love.
The tech just came back from their wedding. She told me that the friend, “only just realized how unhappy she was with the old guy. The man she married is a 180-degree turnaround, and she can’t believe how her life changed.”
But I can believe it. The woman might have once been stuck in a dead-end relationship, but she did some very smart things:
– She avoided compromising her self-respect by trying to drag an unwilling participant up the aisle.
– Even though her boyfriend denied her the commitment she sought, she chose to take responsibility for her own happiness.
- She took action by signing up to travel without the guy , which led her to meet new people. She may not have fallen in love with any of those people, but they surely — wittingly or not — provided her with new insights about her life.
-She worked up the nerve to walk away from the wrong Craigslist friends man, making herself available — and able to recognize — the right one when he appeared.
So, now she has what she wants: A man who’s clearly into her, appreciates her, loves her, knew what he wanted when he saw it, and went for it. Interestingly (but not surprisingly) the guy she dumped suddenly wanted to commit once he realized what he had lost.
“You have to be kidding. You had seven years.”
If you want a relationship, and you’re not meeting anyone or stuck with some guy who doesn’t know what the hell he wants, don’t allow yourself to wallow in discouragement. Decide to make yourself happy despite your circumstances.
I’ve seen it happen over and over again: Happy people attract better men, jobs, friends on Craigslist friends, and just about everything else. Go for it.