Five Ways to Deal with the Stress of Going Through a Divorce during the Holidays.
If you are going through a separation or divorce during the holidays it can heighten tensions for you, your former spouse, and your children. In the immediate aftermath of the divorce, there may be difficult emotions, awkwardness, and resentments. For your children this can hit especially hard, since the stable family unit they knew is now dissolved. If this is your first year being divorced at Christmas, this article by a divorce lawyer in Montgomery, Alabama will outline some of the ways that you can reduce holiday stress during these difficult times.
Be kind and take care of yourself
Knowing that this can be a difficult time to be alone, it can be useful to put yourself first. What healthy actions can you take? Can you change your diet or pick up new exercise habits? Is there a meditation podcast or Youtube channel that you have been waiting to listen to? Consider these small actions as part of a larger step towards taking care of yourself. And remember, there is no harm in getting a jump on your New Year’s resolutions.
Do something nice for yourself
When we think of the holidays we associate it with giving to others. And while you still have the opportunity to do so, think about buying yourself something nice. Activities worth considering are massage therapy, dinner with a friend, or something as simple as a trip to a cafe. Money may be tight with the divorce looming, but these little things can make a significant positive impact.
Make a plan for how to discuss your divorce with others
Depending on the circumstances, this conversation can be frustrating, awkward, or depressing. And with friends and family asking questions and offering advice you may find that your emotional resources are tapped out. In your down time, think about what you are willing to share, how you want to bring the topic up, and other angles of discussion so that you can lessen these tensions.
Be flexible when it comes to your children
If you have children that you and your soon to be former spouse shared traditions with, you will need to take time to learn how to be flexible with your plans and expectations. Your children will want to spend time with both of you, and if it’s not possible to do a shared arrangement, work with your ex to create alternative plans. Plenty of divorced couples are able to arrive at these arrangements, often without the involvement of a family court.
Establish new traditions
Oftentimes divorcing a spouse means divorcing shared friends. Their presence during holiday traditions is now another loss to manage. Turn to the friends and family you have and create new rituals.
The most important thing to remember — do not spend the holidays alone. Despite the changes in your life, and all the emotions that come with, resist the temptation to cocoon yourself in your home. You have friends and family that will welcome your presence.
